Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Someone should tell him

I went out with a couple of friends tonight. Shelly told Bree and I this story. She has this co-worker named Lucy. She (Lucy) has a boyfriend (Pat) who she has been dating for awhile now. After she had been there about a month she slept with her district manager in the conference room. Shelly confronted Lucy about it and all she said was, "it just sorta happened."

What? How does it just happen? At work. With someone you barely know. I can see it "just happening" at home on your couch while watching a movie in the dark but not at work. I'm guessing Lucy has some sort of attraction to authority figures at work.

So about a month after this, Pat asks Lucy's dad if he can marry her. He gives the okay. He asks Lucy and guess what she says?

"I have to ask my dad." What kind of an answer is that? I guess she did ask her dad because according to Shelly they are engaged now.

But that just makes me wonder about the situation at work. Shouldn't he be told that she cheated only if it is one time? I wouldn't want to marry a guy that cheated on me with someone he barely knew.

5 comments:

Desmond Jones said...

It's a classic no-win situation, Z. Obviously, Lucy's character is not what it might be, and Pat is probably in for a rude awakening somewhere down the line. But it is extremely unlikely that he would appreciate being brought up-to-speed on Lucy boinking the boss.

I have a friend whose son was, how shall I say, extremely irresponsible. To the point that, when the son told him that he was engaged, dad sat down with the girl and, uh, strongly advised her not to marry his son. For which he earned only her scorn. And, in the fulness of time, when the marriage was a thing of the past, do you suppose that she came to appreciate what he had tried to do for her? Nope. If anything, she treated him more scornfully than she had before.

So - I sympathize; it seems like Pat ought to know who he's proposing to get married to. But do you think you could do it in a way that he could even receive, much less appreciate? To you, it looks like you're saving him from a bad marriage; to him, it looks like you're trying to sabotage his joy in his impending nuptials. Of course, he's going to give Lucy the benefit of the doubt. Which is as it should be, even if she doesn't deserve it.

And Proverbs 26:17 is rattling around in the back of my brain. . .

Recovering Soul said...

I asked my father in law for permission before asking Therese to marry me. If her answer had been "I need to check with my dad" I think I would have rescinded the offer, simply because a person who still feels they have to do that is not ready to be married.

We recently went on a paintball camping trip and a couple of the guys were taking the dare and jumping the campfire. My brothers friend wouldn't do it because he was afraid his mom would be upset if she found out. That guy is like 26 or 27 years old. On the way home, the same guy called his mom to let her know he was okay, and she said "uh, I wasn't really wondering, son."
He doesn't live at home.

I like to make fun of him for that.

Mev Dominee said...

Hi there. At first I thought I wouldn't comment. but now methinks I will.

First off - lucy is a coworker of a friend of Z? Does that mean that you know Lucy (and Pat for that matter) well enough to talk to them about this Z? It seems not.

secondly , I agree with recovering soul . If Pat did not hear alarm bells ringing when she said "check with dad" then nothing anyone will say to him is going to make him hear them now.

My wife is a Methodist minister and part of her job is to do pre-marriage counseling. This is a great place for couples to face the questions they normall would not think of before getting married.

Maybe Shelly could suggest a good minster who does such a pre-marriage course for them to go through.

Mev Dominee said...

PS: I think that her sleeping with the boss and the "check with dada attitude" are symptoms of a far larger issue.

Telling Pat about that is not going to help resolve the large issue. If they work through the large issues first it might come to the point where she confess to him out of her own and they can then work through that together.

Zanaleigh said...

I actually agree that he is clueless because of her having to ask her dad.
I don't know them personally. I'm not sure how well Shelly knows them either. I just found the story interesting (or stupid) that I thought I'd post it.
Of course I have no idea what Pat's character is like. He could be doing the same thing. Who knows.